If You’re Gonna Go, Go Now

In you go
Into some crowded room
Animals climb
And I’m climbin’ over you

Shoot, I almost forgot my 1-post-a-day promise. Well, since it seems that it’s quantity over quality that’s the deal this month I have no choice, I guess. I will only very humbly plead for you not to take any of these posts too seriously as they are quite rushed posts where I basically just spew out lots of thoughts and then I go to bed, basically.

I just reached 18,000 words on my novel, and at first that made me really happy, until I realised that today is the halfway-mark of November. Which means I should have been at 25,000 words. And I instantly start bringing myself down, wondering why I even bother when there are so many out there who are so far beyond me. But then I remember that many people are still behind me, and at the same place as me, and that 18k is not at all bad. Dear readers, I had not planned anything for this book at all before I opened a document on November 1st and called it ‘NaNoWriMo’. Sure, I had an outline for a plot, but the only thing that survived was the hair colour of the main character. Not even the gender. My point is, since I’m trying to build myself up here, that I’m not doing so bad when I compare how little planning I’ve done. I’m basically just writing as I go along, and that has brought me to 18,000 words – which is quite a lot, if I may say so. And I have so much more to write, so I definitely don’t have writer’s block! But a problem with concentration, or focus, perhaps? Certainly.

I will try not to say this too many times, but the reason I talk so much about this whole novel-deal is because I really want to do it, and the peer pressure from you, all of you, oh Gray Mass of Internet, really puts pressure on me. If that makes you want to unfollow me on twitter (not that I’ve registered anyone doing that so far), then so be it – I have some wonderful muses who (I think) enjoy my rantings. In short: I won’t stop, and I rely a tiny bit on all of you to push me as well. (But talking so much about it makes people want to read it and that is something I seriously cannot take into consideration because then my novel would suddenly have to be censured quite badly, I guess, haha. How extremely intimate isn’t it to let somebody read what you write? My heart gets stuck in my throat just at the thought, goddamn.)

When that is said, I do have a fair share of other thoughts to spew out, but I doubt this is the appropriate place. Let me just say that some things happen to make you really happy, silly happy, really, and then you remember reality and you come back down to earth. But earth is a good place to be, and I plan to have my two feet planted on it from now on.

Oh, and by the way, I had my exam today, which means (unless I fail) that I am now very officially done with high school. Yay!

[Song: Animals | Artist: Coldplay]